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NEW Videos and Editorial

It's the first week of the media launch, the first few days after the party I threw at the hotel for many of my close friends, family and professionals that helped me along the way. We celebrated my five years of freedom. Yep, it's been five years in the real world.   Social Media accounts have been developed and released, including ​​ YouTube...
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Finally Social

YouTube footage is complete for the week, and Patreon material almost ready. All of the materials are ready for the big reveal to the world, via the Sunday papers. Then, the next day, the Onkaparinga Now newspaper. Am I ready for it? Yes. Am I prepared for what might happen? Never. How can we ever prepare when we know things are going to change dra...
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Beyond Tired

There needs to be a word beyond 'tired' and 'exhausted', but one that denotes satisfied tired or happily exhausted. Yet, still highlights a sense of feeling the extremes of worn out. Launch party has left me feeling just that. During the evening my nerves kept me alert, active and prepared for any problem-solving, only there didn't seem to be a nee...
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That's Tonight?!

It's now hours from the launch party and I'm getting nervous. The powerpoints are complete, music rehearsed and musicians prepared, guest speakers arranged, speeches written, guests RSVP'ed, and a bunch of decorations going into the function rooms. Yes, this is really happening. It really is tonight. I haven't even chosen what to wear and already i...
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You're So Vain

I never thought I'd meet anyone with a personality so unappealing, yet so vain. A person who had left my life, who during after-thought I realised was not intended for me, lacked values, and had overall succumbed to the pitiful excuses others made for them. Yes, this was a powerless person who couldn't pay for my attention. That's what hurt him the...
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Closing In

Sometimes we see life as this novel that never ends. But really, it's the chapters that help us divide where we are in the plot, what we feel about the characters, and what we'd like to happen in the further sections. This is how life has developed for me lately. I'm sitting right on the last page of the previous chapter, about to start the new cha...
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Take A Deep Breath

Ever had to give someone the most unexpected news and found your tongue wrapped into itself? Yep, that's how I felt. Here I was, about to call a journalist who had no idea what I'd been through the last five years, waiting to know why I had called. In my brain it sounded like, "Ijustwantedtotellyouaboutmylifeanditchanged!" The words began from my m...
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Two Weeks To Go

Less than 2 weeks to go. It's amazing how quickly time can burn through when you have so much to do. It's almost like time is spare when we have nothing to do, but sparse when we have everything to do. I think Einstein was incorrect with his analogy of time. Yesterday I met with Onkaparinga Council Environmental sector with their media representati...
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Fear Removed

Fears are within all of us. Sometimes they disappear fast, and other times, they take decades. For me, it was one of my biggest hauntings that had held on for many years. When I was seven, I remember a friend of my neighbours' had a baby. They said I could  hold him. He wriggled, which I wasn't prepared for. He rolled off my lap, his head...
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Defining Honour

The word 'honour' appears so many times in the bible, in many contexts. It appears in wedding vows. Yet, this popular word doesn't seem to translate to today's relationships often. Of all the relationships I've been in, only one honoured who I was. He was there for me when my baby (fluffly little dog) died, he was my best friend for years before th...
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Reflection: Fade to Black

   When we're in the pit of despair, it's easy to choose the less effective path, or sway our decisions to give us temporary relief. We might want to give in to someone, give up what we've asserted, or revert whatever we've caused. It's easy to do -- just go backwards. However, what are we doing to ourselves? Prolonging pain? Betraying ou...
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Dear Church

​Dear Pastor and church friends, It's time to talk about some things that I need you to be aware of. Maybe your help will give me options, but at this point I think I have to leave you. This is the full story – unedited – and I share it because I need protection and understanding when I disappear. Some of you know some of this story, but this ...
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The Big Day

I know many women consider their big day to be a wedding, but for me, performing for a live audience was the most special occasion of my life. Must be calm, I thought. Don't let myself get psyched out. Nerves are fine, but not if they were to erode any ability I had with shaking fingers, rapid breath or sweaty palms. And successfully I kept my nerv...
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King of Hearts or King of Spades?

​Relationships are Iike a hand of cards: do you hold or fold? How do we determine which? Do we keep a strict rule of writing at a certain combination, or should we gamble and hang in there? We aim to become psychic, trying to foretell what may or may not happen.  This is where I am in my own relationship. Things seem to be improving, only a su...
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Gifts for Friends

It seems we all have our achilles heels. Mine is chocolate and junk food. Artie's flatmate's was alcohol. My neighbour had hers too. I'd never really thought about it, until I got that dreaded text message after church. We'd had a pleasant day worshipping the Lord, then sharing in a soup lunch with some of the congregation. Everyone takes these opp...
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When Addictions Win

Unfortunately, lessons in life are often lost or ignored. They are wasted on some. While we might love or befriend that person, but if we cover their mistakes forever their lesson will continue to be ignored. It was this understanding I had trouble facing this week, but I knew I couldn't ignore my own lessons. Thursday morning, I was at Artie's. So...
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Adra Cafe

​This evening should be a fun experience, as it was last Thursday. I began to donate time to something new, and it brought me new opportunities, excitement and inspiration. ADRA Cafe is run by our church. It's an initiative where food is prepared for homeless and low income earners who could use a home-cooked meal. It's a program run by several chu...
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Pivotal Decisions

Apologies can sometimes come later and can be said even if you weren't the instigator. They can be the reason you are saved or lost. This is the lesson a new friend learnt this week. I now call him a friend because he was decent enough to make amends and showed his weaknesses in good faith. It's during his suffering I feel like God would want me to...
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When Fear Wins Out

​Sometimes fear gets the best of us. It stays dormant until something happens and we just want to escape it. The measure appears just at the time, but on hindsight, does not. Yet, we take these actions with little thought other than protecting ourselves. Then there is only action - no rationalisation. Last night Artie picked me up and we went to hi...
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